It has been a rough few months. Your finances have been tight for a while now. With unforeseen circumstances, they came to an all time low. But, “I’m okay.” If anyone asks, “I’m doing fine.”
Enter in a Bible study group that loves God and just happens to love you. And one night, when the ladies are grouped together for prayer, you ask for wisdom. You know you need the kind of wisdom only God can give. You also know that God is a good God who hears the cries of His people and that He is willing to help when asked. So with all of the pent-up stress of the past few months, recognizing who God is as a faithful God, and the passionate prayers of fellow believers, you do what any woman might be apt to do…you bawl your eyes out. It starts with tears coming down and you telling yourself you need to pull it together, but then grows until you start sobbing uncontrollably. The prayers finish, you dry your eyes. And now you have to explain that you’re not okay.
Guess what. They already knew I wasn’t okay. God had clearly given these amazing people the insight to know that their sister wasn’t at a good spot. My beloved Bible study folks had already set up a variety of different blessings to help me with groceries, with gas, and even with some new clothes. With these blessings and the knowledge that God is on my side, I might just be okay.
But then one Tuesday night, my car’s transmission decides to go out. I’ve had small hints that it might be coming, but surely that wouldn’t happen now. Well it does…God, You know this is too much. And that’s the point I think God likes to get us to sometimes, the point where we can only rely on Him.
The amazing thing about how good God is is that I had made it to work 30 minutes away and back home that day. It was only because I decided to go out randomly for a walk at a park that I discovered the car’s problems that evening instead of on the way to work the next day. God made sure I had a similar schedule to someone else that lives nearby who was able to give me a ride to work the next day. The rumor mill did its job and all of a sudden, most of my coworkers knew that I’m temporarily without a car. They give me another financial blessing. My family also gives me a financial blessing to help take care of this extra unforeseen expense. The Bible study members who may have thought their job of providing blessings to me was finished were mistaken. Now they assisted me with transportation to the important things that I needed to go to.
The interesting thing about not having a vehicle and having to rely on friends and the bus for transportation is that you tend to find yourself only going to work and home. Work and home. What do you do with all of that extra time? You rest. Yes, I did spend some of that time working through re-watching one of my favorite shows and catching up on reading. But more, I’ve had the opportunity to rest in God, to draw closer to Him. To recognize His faithfulness in the midst of trouble.
I should be getting my car back today. As I walked to the library, I realized I would miss this opportunity of extra rest. I know I’m about to be thrown into my crazy busy life. But I can go into it knowing that it’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay (and good) to fully rely on God. He is faithful. I just need to keep putting my faith in Him.